Candace Spears
- Nov 3, 2019
- 4 min read

Ep 137: Is FORGETFULNESS a sign I should slow down?

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I don't know about you, but I forget a lot of things lately and it's had me a little bit worried. But I'm starting to think maybe I shouldn't be worried. Maybe it's a sign of something else, so maybe I should be less worried, but be sure that my forgetfulness is going to have a positive outcome and a positive impact still on the people whose things I'm forgetting.

In this episode, we'll talk about...

Sign and symptoms that make us question the rate at which we're moving through life
The possibility of selective "forgetting"
Whether or not forgetfulness may be a positive sign for our focused brain

I can't even count the number of times I have had something that I needed to do or someone has asked me to do something and I responded, "Yup, sure, I'll do it. I'll make it happen" only to later have not done it at all. And I didn't do it on purpose. I didn't do it because I simply forgot. A lot of times my husband will mention something to me like, "Candace, can you make sure you go do X, Y, Z?" And almost every time I'm like, "Sure, I'm on it." And then it's not until he sends me a text message hours later saying, "Hey, what happened? Why didn't you do X, Y,Z?" But I'm like, "Oh my gosh, I forgot. Shoot, I forgot." I was starting to get worried for a second that something was happening to me mentally because I'm fairly young. I'm 34 years old and I'm thinking, "Why would my memory be in this bad shape?" I just don't remember to do these things, like forgetfulness is just all over the place.

And so you know, it's started to occur to me and I don't know if it's occurring to me or I'm just saying it because it's making me feel better, but my forgetfulness is probably within reason. Mom of three, working a 9-to-5, building a business, active in the community, wife, that's a lot of things right there. And I am sure that you have a plate that is just as full. And I don't know if you've experienced this type of just forgetfulness like I don't even think it was this bad when I was pregnant with my kids. And you know, they have the thing called mommy brain when you're pregnant that you tend to forget all these things. I don't think it was that bad back then, but I'm starting to kind of say to myself, "All right, maybe this forgetfulness is within reason" and I'm not just saying it to make myself feel better. I am beginning to believe that it probably is within reason. And also beginning to believe that maybe it's okay. Think about it this way, if you were forgetting a bunch of stuff, but on the other hand, you're taking so much action and you're getting so many things done, that forgetfulness makes sense. You're remembering to take action on the things that are important and things that you feel like are going to push you forward. Not that the other things aren't important, but I think that some of that forgetfulness can just be a sign of focus. I know for me. I think I've developed a keen sense of focus and I don't think it's always a positive thing. I think it's sometimes focused on a detriment. So for example, I get so focused on the fact that I need to record a bunch of podcasts episodes and then neglect doing other things that may need to happen either around the house or things that I have to do for somebody else because I'm so focused on getting that particular thing done.

If you were forgetting a bunch of stuff, but on the other hand, you're taking so much action and you're getting so many things done, that forgetfulness makes sense. (Click to tweet)

And so thinking about that extreme focus, it's easy to take anything that's on the periphery and just say, "Oh, I'll worry about that later. I'll shelve that somewhere mentally" and then you forget about it. And so I kind of think that's what's happening to me. And so while I've been questioning all this forgetfulness, does this mean that I need to slow down and just be more mindful and just pay attention more in the world? Now I do think I should pay a little bit more attention to the world. However, I think that forgetfulness really is just a sign of being laser-focused and almost being selective about the things that I care to keep in my brain and give my act of attention at the moment.

So if you're like me and you are being very forgetful with a lot of things, don't panic just yet. It could be a sign that you're just on it, to be honest. You're super on it, you know the things that you're after. But I will challenge you as I am challenging myself to, to still be mindful that the things that we are forgetting aren't necessarily things that are important to people. So we want to make sure that we aren't sending the wrong signals, that I always forget something that's so and so says to me. And that sending them the message that they aren't important or what they need isn't important because that shouldn't be the case. Those aren't the people we want to be at. Well, I will speak for me, that's not the person that I want to be, but at least to know that my forgetfulness is within reason and I am not crazy, it's also a good aspect to know. So take that, hold onto it, take any action that you think is necessary to keep things in alignment.